100 Days, Personal

October 6, 2017

Life in Limbo

I remember once writing a post back in the very early days of blogging about how if I were a cleaning product I would be a Swiffer. I mean well, but I don’t always get the job done.

I still have a love/hate relationship with Swiffers, and I still feel the sentiment to be true about myself. Which would explain why it’s been 91 days since that blog post where I promised a solid plan towards a better me in 100 days. And, uh…soooo yea that’s how that’s going.

To be fair, I was working mandatory overtime at the call center with 9 or 10 hour days while trying to single parent three kids and still run my own business. I made it to the gym maybe once a week on average. Fitness: strike one!

To be transparent, I quit my job at the call center due to the mandatory overtime because overtime pay isn’t worth the stress and I missed my kids. Finances: strike two!

To be real, I don’t think I’m convinced that I’ll ever actually end up where I want to be in life. It often feels like I’m destined to live forever in some sort of limbo. Motivation: strike three!

I bare my soul here to you, strangers and friends, because I hope that someday I will feel like I’m exactly where I want to be. And someday I can look back on this and remember where I was, and how long it took, and how it was never a smooth journey from point A to point B. It was up and down and several steps backwards and itty bitty baby steps forward.

And maybe you need to know that, too? Because, shit. Life is hard, huh? And you’ve been trying for YEARS to make things work out right, and they just haven’t yet. And everyone you follow on instagram seems to effortlessly have their shit together.

When *or if* I ever have it all together, I need you to remember that it didn’t come to me easily. Remember that good things are never effortless. In fact, the best things in life often take the most effort.

So push through, humans. Struggle. Succeed. Struggle some more. Revel in your victories. Don’t give up.

I’ll jumpstart that 100 Days thing again very soon. Pinky promise.

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